To me chaos is a swirling grey color. A mixture of whites and blacks, twisting around the day to day, hurling the to do lists sideways. Watching the responsibilities of adulting fly towards you, ripping the wants and wishes from your grasp, no time for imagination or creating today. No, today you have to clean, get the laundry started, feed the little ones and run a few errands.

Maybe if You’re really, realy, lucky you’ll have consumed enough coffee to keep you awake enough to focus on you. If only for a moment, I tell myself, I have time to delve into my subconscious and crank out a couple thousand words. Some days it comes easily. Ian and Marie graciously accept me into their world. I walk with them and create another few days of adventure and intrigue, love and drama. I bring them together, only to tear them apart, allowing chaos to enter their pages as well.

I’ve been fortunate to have found my calm after the storm. A partner that takes on the twister with me, picking up where I lack, rebuilding after the winds settle. He allows me more time and encouragement to enter the world of the written word. Keeping the little ones entertained as I immerse myself into my writing.

Somehow the currents still tend to sweep me up into the whirlwind.  Try as I may, I forget to pull myself from the suction and allow my passion to take hold. Everyday reminding myself that I am worth those few hours. Ian and Marie need me, they depend on me to complete their story. I am stuck, antler tangled with antler, knowing my family needs me too. 

I am aware the storm will only get larger with success. An F-5 of responsibility, pulling and pushing wants and needs into a circling cyclone. I can only focus, trust that I am doing what I can to float gracefully through the winds. Allowing myself time, finding that mindset to persevere. Fastening my wings tightly to the flesh on my shoulders. 

I will glide through the storm. I can juggle, skillfully, with my best friend and greatest supporter by my side. My children will see that you can achieve anything. Work the winds to your will and make your life what you need it to be. 

Steady your wings people. You have the ability to conquer the currents. Morph the storm into what life can become for each of you.

Come, soar with me, I’d love to take your hand as the winds swallow us all.

Angela Edmonds